Claudia
Alright ... soak it in...yes, it's a mother nursing her older child...yeah yeah...moving on!

People kept asking me when I was going to make an opinion on this. At first, I lightly glanced at it, and thought: "Ugh, not again." - but then I thought after examining the image, the title and the subtitle + the magazine's name, why it's causing so much controversial.

So instead of posting a very long paragraph about it, I am going to pin point my views, in shorter versions. (Mainly because I have about 10-15mins before baby Dash wakes up)
  1. Let's talk about the subjects; mother and older child. That cannot be the mother. And that cannot be her child. For one, the child looks incredibly uncomfortable, and is posing very unnaturally. Two, no mother looks that damn good breastfeeding their older kid. I'm sorry, but if you do look like this, nursing your older kid, prove it - then I'll shut up. However, I have a slight feeling that this photo was 'Photoshopped'. Especially this image: one that didn't make the cover. It just doesn't seem ... right, at least not in my eyes. Something was changed, something was played with, removed, cropped or scaled or something!!! 
  2. The actual act of breastfeeding. How someone can say 'it's gross' it beyond me. It's HUMAN milk, from a HUMAN mother, feeding her HUMAN child. That is all. That is all to it. That is all you need to know. And yet, it is okay to drink bodily fluid from another species? Say, a cow? Do you even know what is in cow's milk? Go research it, and then come back to me.
  3. The main title: "Are you Mom enough?" ... um, WHAT? So because I don't breastfeed my older child, does that mean I am not "mom enough" - what exactly does being "mom enough" even MEAN? What is the definition of "mom enough". That makes no sense. And that title alone has created so much anger in mothers who, by no choice of their own, weren't able to breastfeed. (increasing their milk supply, nursing as much as they could, for as long as they could) - and that doesn't make them "mom enough"? Well, i guess I am not "mom enough" if my child decided to wean on her own. I guess I am not "mom enough" when I was diagnosed with breast cancer and was not able to produce milk. (Not in my case, but someone else's). Excuse me, pardon me, for not being "mom enough". I guess caring, nurturing, loving unconditionally my children does not make me "mom enough".
  4. The subtitle: "Why attachment parenting drives some mothers to extreme ..." - What is attachment parenting? Definition:  a phrase coined by pediatrician William Sears,[1] is a parenting philosophy based on the principles of the attachment theory in developmental psychology. According to attachment theory, the child forms a strong emotional bond with caregivers during childhood with lifelong consequences. Sensitive and emotionally available parenting helps the child to form a secure attachment style which fosters a child's socio-emotional development and well being. In extreme and rare conditions the child may not form an attachment at all and may suffer from reactive attachment disorder as defined in DSM-IV and ICD-10. Principles of attachment parenting aim to increase development of child's secure attachment and decrease insecure attachment.          Did you get all that? Shorter definition: A PARENT! That is what you are SUPPOSE to do when you become a parent. It doesn't even need the "attachment" title in front of it. It's parenting. How can there be 'other' styles or methods of parenting? This should be the only 'kind'. 
  5. Sensationalism. Enough said.
 
 
Claudia
05 May 2012 @ 10:33 am
International Day of the Midwife - 5 May 2011

Over 340,000 women die each year, with millions more suffering infection and disability as a result of preventable maternal causes. The International Confederation of Midwives (ICM), alongside UN agencies, World Health Organization (WHO) and a range of other international partners, is committed to addressing maternal mortality and morbidity through greater access to essential midwifery care worldwide, particularly in developing countries where 90% of maternal deaths occur.
The WHO has recognized that the promotion of midwives as the prototype for the skilled birth attendant is crucial for the attainment of the Millennium Development Goals to reduce maternal and child mortality.
Why Choose a Midwife?
Well, most importantly, there's the midwifery model of care:

This model recognizes that birth is a social event and a life-transforming experience for the woman and her family. Birth is seen as a holistic process: professionals recognize the mind-body connection and treat the woman as a whole. Care is family- and relationship-centered and relationship. Midwives are trained to recognize the normalcy of birth and minimize technological interventions, but also to identify women who may require obstetrical attention. This holistic model recognizes that the woman’s mind and body are connected, as are mother and child. The goal is not simply a physically intact woman and baby, but a mentally healthy woman and baby as well.

This model is woman-centered, unlike the biomedical technocratic model, which is physician-centered. The woman delivers her baby, not the physician. Alternate forms of care are respected and used, such as emotional encouragement, touch, and non-pharmacological interventions. Midwives understand that birth is a respected process that cannot be managed or controlled. Unfortunately, only eight percent of pregnant and birthing women receive care from a midwife (see Declerq et al 2006).

Birth Models that Work, a new book edited by Robbie Davis-Floyd (and others), who studies birth models all over the world, has identified the elements of systems that do not work and those that do.
It is an exploration of anthropological, epidemiological, and medical research on various birth models. In areas with birth systems that do not work, mothers and babies are dying because of a lack of access to life-saving health care, or lives are saved but mothers and babies are physically and/or psychosocially damaged.  

Birth models that work “apply the latest scientific evidence to support and facilitate normal physiological birth, deal appropriately with complications, and generate excellent birth outcomes – including psychological satisfaction for the mother." She and her co-editors have discovered that the ideology that underlies all birth models that work is the midwifery model of care, which exemplifies the humanistic model.  


And if you don't take my word for it, get some further opinions in this video:



What are the Types of Midwives?
Midwives come in all kinds of different settings and certifications. Different states have different names and laws regarding midwifery. 

A Certified Nurse Midwife (CNM) generally, though not always, provides care in a hospital or birth center setting. 

A Certified Professional Midwife (CPM) and a Direct Entry Midwife (DEM) generally practice in out-of-hospital settings, like home birth.

A Licensed Midwife (LM) means the midwife is licensed in her state.

A "Lay Midwife" means that the midwife is trained but is not licensed, either because the state she lives in has no license procedure or because she has chosen not to. 



How Can I find a Midwife?
Check out:
Midwives Alliance of North America
American College of Nurse Midwives
The North American Registry of Midwives 

Or find a Birth Center near you:
American Association of Birth Centers

Or find one in your health insurance network


How Can I Celebrate Midwives?
Find out if there is a local rally or event celebrating International Day of the Midwife
Join our local Friends of Midwives group or donate to one
Buy your favorite midwife a special thank you gift!

 
 
 
Claudia
25 April 2012 @ 01:24 pm





















 
 
Claudia
16 April 2012 @ 10:01 am
Since ... actually I cannot remember when ...
I started planning and brain-storming on a project that I had not seen in Victoria for a long time. In fact, no one came forward with it before and I saw my window of opportunity.

Once I became a mother for the second time, I got obsessed with baby carriers. I began my collection shortly after DS was born, and to this day, I know own 7 different baby carriers. And I use them all for different occasions. (seriously, they ALL have a purpose)

So that made me think and I began to do my research. Was there a group or small community of baby wearers in town? 
Nope. There are in other cities in the country, and other countries. But not this one. It seemed odd to me since there are many crunchy and granola parents in this city. So there I started, planning, organizing, put together my Spring and Summer project (hopefully all seasons in the future).

Victoria Babywearers:

Facebook Page - https://www.facebook.com/VicBabywearers
Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/victoria.babywearers/
Twitter Page - https://twitter.com/#!/VicBabywearers

And now, our very own website: http://victoriababywearers.com/

 
 
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
 
 
Claudia
14 April 2012 @ 07:40 pm




During both of my pregnancies...actually more so on my second pregnancy, I felt SO sexy for being large, full, curvaceous and big. I wore anything and everything I felt like because I was carrying life inside of me. It was glorious to have felt that carefree feeling of the body I had.

For the past while now, I have had many issues with my body. My NOW body (ie: nearly 6 months post pardum).
With my first born, I didn't have this much problem with my then body. It was something that never came across.
Now, with my second born, it's becoming this problem. And the more I think about it, the more it bothers me. I can't help but to admire the other mothers' body, and to my mind, I think they look rather perfect, toned, back to pre-pregnancy size. Sometimes I think they're lucky, sometimes I admire them, other times I hate them, I envy them. I think about how little effort they had to wear those pre-pregnancy jeans. THOSE jeans. Those pre-kids jeans. The pair of jeans that every mother who has had a baby always obsesses about wearing them as soon as possible. The ones that barely come up to my thighs. Curse you jeans. 

Usually, I am not that obsessed with my image. Never did I think too much on how I look, what to wear, my colour coordination, if I am wearing the right shoes. None of it. I still don't care about what I am wearing.

What I am obsessing about, is my body. My loose skin, my scars, my stretch marks, my un-toned muscles, my arms, my legs, my thighs, my abdomen, my butt etc.
Basically every inch of my body that hides behind those layers of clothing. And I know I shouldn't be.
Why do I know this?
Because they are my birthing marks. 
I gave life to two amazingly wonderful human beings. 
It's because of them, my body looks and is, the way it is. And it makes me happy knowing that my body went through all of that, for the most miraculous event of my life.

After reaching out to others about how to cope with this, a dear soul showed me this emotional video. A video that I will always watch when I look at myself in the mirror and quibble my body.
 
 
Claudia
03 April 2012 @ 12:12 pm
I recently had the opportunity to participate in a debate that arose many controversial issues about self-praising.

For one, and frankly the most talked-about topic, is the downside to it.
There are many people who reach the pinnacles of glory by dint of their destiny and yet have their feet firmly on the ground. Then there are people who struggle a lot to see their dreams transform into realities, and when they have they thank God and their friends and well-wishers for being a support. Finally, there are people who are simply a wayward drop in the ocean and they think they are the ocean itself. Such people are always busy assembling a verbal collage of praise for themselves and the type of work they do.

Delusions of grandeur form the footrest of self-praise, and it is often linked to feigned notions about the self. Self-praise is not a good sign and always proves counterproductive when it is communicated to a well-meaning, logical and knowledgeable population of the world. The fact that you say of yourself as being the best or the luckiest doesn’t necessarily mean that others on this planet earth are the worst or least lucky. If you are the best, you should be everywhere; how come then the others are where you are not. G. W. Harvey once remarked: “Self-praise occasionally succeeds with ignorant and credulous persons; very seldom with those who have much knowledge of the world. He who can make a discerning mind think more highly of him for what he says of himself, must be a person of unusual ability and address.” 

You may only belie the very act of self-praise if you think you are the person of unusual ability and address. None of us is so perfect to claim this stature; and if we actually are of this magnificent and towering address then we don’t even need to self-praise ourselves. Self-praise leads to vanity and ego and is seen as a bad thing in almost every faith and religion. Given all its negative meanings in various dictionaries, which include bluster, brag, braggadocio, bragging, crow, crowing, line-shooting, rodomontade, rodomontade, self-assertion, speech act, vapouring, vaunt, self-praise is truly no recommendation. 

When you indulge in self-praise, you are in reality insulting the sound intelligence and wisdom of the people who you think should be seconding your blabbermouth. You lose your faith in them and what they develop of you is a residual image of being a dishonest, self-centered and a highly disinteresting character. Montaigne has remarked that a man's accusations of himself are always believed; his praises of self never. 

Psychologists group people of self-praising behavior among one of the narcissism types; something that bears a strong lineage to personality disorders. Those who hold high opinions about themselves are normally grouped into the ‘trickster-type’ which is charming, engaging, smooth and inviting and may have many social graces. All these adjectives often act as a veneer on a disturbed personality until they meet someone who is more knowledgeable than they are and has a better know-how of things. 

“Behind the ‘trust me’ messages,” say psychologists, “you will find a malicious intent. It is the personality of the ‘con-artist’. The motives are covert and include exploitation, limitless entitlement and a cruel twist when the victim realizes the script of betrayal.” <-- messed up, hey? 

It is understood that every one of us carries an element of self-praise on our shoulders since it is more of a spectrum. But when it goes to someone’s head, it is more of a problem and can affect almost all areas of life including work, leisure, relationships and well-being. 

Since almost all of us want to go ahead in life, it is not surprising that people with self-praising tendencies will be doing a better job if they weren't so busy patting themselves on the back.

And as a saying goes: "Empty vessels make the most noise" - think about that one.
 
 
Current Mood: amusedamused
 
 
Claudia
02 April 2012 @ 11:11 pm
Obnoxious and irritating.

I am not sure when it became popular or even added to the English language, though I find those words very annoying.
It does not make sense why you would say this after a statement, suggestion, or even after a rhetorical question. It's very passive-aggressive and really it doesn't even make you sound intelligent.

I am glad that the language gets enriched each year with new phrases. But "just saying" seems designed to allow to express sharply, and without conviction. It's a way of being colourful without consequences - all lip and no heart. Do we really need a new phrase to help be more snide, snarky and insincere?

Saying "just saying" puts a fire escape onto the end of a sentence. It lets you express stern - even rude - opinion, but not really. You're just saying. 
It invites the listener/reader to discount what we just heard/read, even as we're reeling from it.

The Urban Dictionary website explains that the phrase makes it "possible to deliver a rude comment or burn and it have it bounce off simply as an opinion disguised as an objective opinion, and who can argue with you over an opinion that you don't apparently support."

Imagine what that phrase might have in earlier times.

What if Moses had told Pharaoh: "Let my people go! Just sayin'!"

What if Henny Youngman had said: "Take my wife - I'm just saying."

What if the FDR tried to rally Americans out of depression by decreeing. "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. I'm just saying!"

OR if Churchill had tried to rouse Britain in 1940 by declaring: "We shall fight them on the beaches, in the air, in the hills and we shall never surrender -I'm just saying!"

What if Romeo had seen Juliet and gushed:
"See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand!
O that I were a glove upon that hand.
that I might touch that cheek! - just saying!"

She might have run off with Tybalt.

Omg, what if Stevie WONDERS had sung: "You are the sunshine of my life - just sayin'!" - Oh how some hit that would be.
Tags: ,
 
 
Current Mood: weirdweird
 
 
Claudia
02 April 2012 @ 09:43 am

Hungry for Change notes

  • we live in a world of abundance but have an attitude of lack
  • diets don't work as they are only temporary and we just set ourselves up for failure; 90-95% add more weight back after the diet is over
  • we consume 150 lbs of sugar/sweeteners per year = 22 tsp/day
  • we are overfed but starving on a nutritional basis -->we consume too many calories but there are not enough nutrients in what we are eating
  • when our bodies seek calories we go for fat and sugar
  • optimum diet is that of hunter/gatherer/gardener --> low calories but high nutrition
  • our bodies are not designed to sit at desks all day
  • many of us are addicted to processed foods
  • foods that contain MSG/glutamates (many processed foods) excite your brain, which in turn activates the fat programs
  • aspartame is particularly bad as it actually contributes to weight gain and causes carb cravings
  • a few years ago we made the enemy “fat” in foods, but “fat free” foods generally have lots of sugar, which produces insulin, which is the fat producing hormone
  • we need the right kinds of fats (flax oil, salmon, avocado), because on a low fat diet you will be constantly hungry
  • stay away from partially hydrogenated fats found in cookies and crackers = bad
  • high fructose corn syrup is the #1 source of calories in the US, it's an isolated nutrient = bad
  • pharmaceutical carbs like white flour and white sugar are not unlike cocaine in that they are addictive, isolated nutrients from an otherwise beneficial plant
  • breads and fluffy carbs convert almost immediately to sugar in the body
  • things like bread, pasta, cereal, potatoes, pancakes, corn, pasta sauce, crackers should all be included in the sugar category
  • fat is not caused by fat, it's caused by sugar and foods that convert to sugar right away (like the above)
  • humans live healthily on a broad spectrum from the Arctic Inuits who live primarily on animal fat to the Amazonians which are primarily plant based; what are not natural/healthy foods for us are grains and sugar
  • rather than diet, the strategy should be to add in good stuff that will eventually crowd out the bad; a gradual shift to a better eating lifestyle that can be sustained
  • focus on fruits, vegetables, nuts and seeds
  • instead of white flour, replace with fresh ground whole wheat
  • instead of conventional produce, replace with organic
  • move towards the good to keep a positive perspective instead of focusing on what you can't have
  • when the body is trying to defend against toxins, it produces mucus and retains or generates fat
  • if you are taking in more toxins than you're eliminating, your body won't let you burn fat
  • to detox -->green vegetables have chlorophyll which is an internal deodorant
  • use gelatinous plants like seaweeds, chia seeds, aloe vera which will absorb and bind bile salts and clean out your liver
  • use parsley (cleanses the blood) and cilantro (binds with heavy metals)
  • should consume 6-8 veg/fruit servings a day, most of us don't get enough vegetables so juicing is a way to ensure that
  • use a celery/cucumber base and then add kale/collards, etc
  • a 3 day juice cleanse is beneficial to “lifting the fog”
  • no one can control what you put in your mouth, that is the last area of control that each one of us has
  • our skin is the true symbol of our health; we are attracted to people with healthy skin/hair/nails
  • fried and barbequed foods are among the worst for us as they are full of toxins
  • we need to eat lots of low glycemic foods (vegetables/fruits) – grains are high glycemic other things to add into our diets --> olives, cucumber, radishes, hemp seeds, coconut products, fermented foods
  • avoid skin products that use chemical sudsing agents (SLS) and urea (made from horse urine)
  • obesity is the solution to stress; when we are stressed we make poor food choices, seek “comfort”foods
  • a good mantra is “if you're upset don't eat”
  • if your cortisol levels are high (stressed), even looking at a doughnut raises your metabolism
  • stress increases fluid retention
  • stress leads to sleep deprivation
  • we need exercise – a long walk is all you need
  • we need laughter – improves immunity and decreases pain
  • use visualization to access the un/subconscious
  • what you hold in your mind on a consistent basis is what you will experience
  • need love, for yourself and others; lack of love --> stress; love = safety
  • post on mirror: “I accept myself unconditionally right now” and say it for 30 days
  • words are the most powerful drug known to humanity